Long Distance Relationship or “LDR” is definitely a make or break.
It is NOT for the faint-hearted, the insecure, the players, and the time killers.
It is FOR the believers, the loyal and faithful, the madly in love committed couples.
Let me share some simple thoughts to know if you are in the RIGHT or WRONG Long Distance Relationship.
What makes it the right LDR
1. When communication is a priority.
– LDR is difficult. Distance is difficult. But if both of you put efforts to it- especially communication, it will work. Communication really doesn’t demand too much if you both see it as important. Virtual hugs and kiss emoticons are simple ways of keeping it rolling. A simple “good morning” , “thinking of you” , “I wish I was there” makes the love more fonder. Sending each other goofy pictures, old pictures of travel together, reminding them of the first date, informing your love about your plans next week. etc. Since physical togetherness is not possible at the moment, couples in a long distance relationship has to make double the efforts in communication compared to couples who are together in one place. Setting a schedule for video chatting each week is a great way to keep things in place as well.
2. When there is a future to look forward to.
-What is the LDR leading to eventually? If you honestly know that you will see each other at a specific month and year, and also if you know you will end up with each other someday, then there is a future to look forward to. If you are unsure where this “thing” will lead to, it would be nice if you both sit and talk about it soon to make things clear. Hoping and leaning for something “unsure” will leave you scarred in the future.
3. When you are both exclusive.
-When you are both in a serious and exclusive relationship, it is sure a good emotional investment. It is great if you both are making clear of the boundaries, and giving assurance of faithfulness despite the distance. This is where trust and faithfulness will be tested many times.
What makes it a wrong LDR
1. When you haven’t met in person
– I know it has worked for some people. But for the majority, it has not. This has caused a lot of heartaches for many. It is hard to build trust and commitment if you only met online. Especially if you kept on for an online relationship for months to years without ever meeting. There are a lot of secrets and uncertainties. Save yourself from a major heartache by steering clear of these types.
2. When there is no time for communication.
-Communication is the only key to a successful LDR. Time difference is not a reason to skip communication. If other things are in the way and one of you aren’t making efforts to communicate, it will become a cause for breakup soon.
3. When you spend MOST of your time at home in front of the computer skyping or chatting.
-You have to be aware how much time you are allotting for your LDR in a day. If it consumes MOST of your time, its about time you get a life. Go out with family and friends, enjoy the outdoors. You might be investing a lot of hours on someone who wouldn’t work out and you cannot get back the time you have wasted. If that person really loves you they won’t demand a half day skype session everyday or most of the days. It is not that healthy.
To sum it up, Long Distance Relationships are the toughest people out there. It’s best to be sure that you are investing your time and efforts to the right person, then the right relationship will stay. Time might be sluggish when you are both apart, but when the moment comes that you finally are together, looking back is well worth all the wait. 🙂